So here we go… You got one more chance to make it better not lose control… Sleeping With Sirens!



Today at school there was a fire. During lunchtime.
As protocol we knew we had to line up outside for half an hour at least before anything was done. Yes, I did take my dessert with me!
It turned out that the fire was dead serious and in the Art department which is right at the top of the school (to prevent theft… Duh!) all the at students were viciously sad. If that makes any sense. I actually felt sorry for them. I would sure if someone decided to burn my years worth of work in just an hour or so!

It turns out there will be no school tomorrow.

And some people are celebrating. I’m not. Because I’ve got four GCSE exams in the next month and every 10 minutes I miss of Latin or RE (the subjects I’m doing this year) I hyperventilate about what I may have missed.

Latin is a butt hole.

I love and hate it at the same time. Anyone who does or did Latin at some point will know that there is only one word that you need:


Without that you won’t get anywhere.

Every Monday and Friday I stay after school for two hours because Latin was an optional GCSE that isn’t in my everyday timetable. And it is sooooooo irritating when it takes two days to learn something bid it feels so fucking great when you realise you’ve finally got it.

Anyways, as I said before my posts will have now bigger gaps between them which I am not happy about but I will try and keep this as full as possible!!

Also… I just wanted to tell you that when I was a kid up to the age of nine my family used to call me Galaxy Smooth because my skin used to be completely perfect with no imperfection just sheer soft, smooth and silkiness. Now that I’m a teenager my skin is disgusting. I hate the fact that I can’t touch my self without remembering what I used to be. It’s so blemished, dry and oily at the same damn time!!

I’ve been raging on a bit tonight but it was Kellin Quinn’s birthday today and I don’t know why birthdays are special because I hate the fact that I was ever even born… Even more painful is that I was born as a ‘human’. So that’s why I don’t celebrate birthdays especially not my own.

~ living in the atmosphere; learning who I am




School has started.
I think my blog has paused!
Not stopped… Thank goodness!
But paused.
I hate this.
This lack of time.

~ living in the atmosphere; learning who I am

Life is a gift…


But what about the shit that life comes with?

I think the real gift is death.
At least then you can leave the shit that is life.
Life is what you should fear.
Death is what you should embrace with an open heart.


King for a Day by Pierce The Veil ft. Kellin Quinn.

~ living in the atmosphere; learning who I am

Can’t believe I’ve given in!



Well, let me steady from the beginning… One day there was a little girl born in a tiny little clinic at coast of Bangladesh… Not that far.

I used to have a Facebook account that I haven’t used in about three years. But other than that I have never had an actual social networking account unless you count Polyvore (this is my polyvore account) Maybe it is just because everyone I’m around I seem to somewhat hate? Or I just thought it would take too much of my time and the last I want is to say I didn’t have time to do something important must because I was too caught up with what some call ‘chatting’.

But lately lots of people have been constantly bugging me about Instagram. Their constant argument!?:

You don’t have to upload pictures of yourself or of anything at all but I just want to share my photos with you, man!

First of all I generally don’t give a shit about your photos secondly (unlike most teenagers of today) I have never taken a selfie in my entire life. Actually I did one but I instantly deleted it. I just don’t like taking pictures… especially of myself.

So anyways… One person pushed me… Very hard!
And I made an Instagram account. It’s called mymonaisdrunk… I think.
But basically I made it and I kind of don’t hate it but I just put up random pictures that have nothing to do with my face… Or body!

Also it’s gonna be a bit daunting because for once my classmates will see who I am when I’m not working… At school.

Other than that today has been the laziest one in ages!! I was sleeping for more than half of it!

Listening to

Oh, Calamity! – All Time Low!


~ living in the atmosphere; learning who I am

You would be a shitty liar if you said you didn’t love music.



‘Music is the tool that Shaytan (Satan) uses to manipulate humans into feeling, thinking and wanting sinful things.’

That’s what my brother told me when he saw that I couldn’t go to sleep without my earphones.

Here’s the dealio: listening to music is haram (forbidden) in Islam principally because of that.

It is so sad because I completely use music for everything especially because I have Spotify!!

Again, because I am not strong enough to sacrifice my music for my religion, because I don’t know how to get my priorities straight I’m stuck being guilty every fucking day of my life.

I have been to two concerts on my life (Sleeping With Sirens – October 2013… All Time Low – March 2014) in my opinion atl was better! But then again Jesse had just left sws then so… Sad!

My heart tells me to go to more but my brain is saying ‘don’t you fucking dare!’ So I’m gonna try and go with my brain even though the world today is saying follow your heart which is basically the totally wrong rule to follow if you’re a Muslim!

Concerts are magical… but so is heaven.

~ living in the atmosphere; learning who I am

If I thought before I spoke then I would only be thinking… not speaking.


Raj! You are... so fucking funny!

That’s a bit random but that’s what I feel like sometimes when I stay up late doing essays for fun… it’s wired because I actually enjoy it as that’s the only time that I don’t have people talking to me and it’s just me, my earphones and a shit load of writing!

I love writing.

I wish I had enough time in my life to stay constant with writing and not just change whatever I’m writing… all the fucking time!

My family is full of clever people… everyone is just naturally clever. There’s nine of us including parents… Five have never been to a school or educational environment for longer than six months. Yet still they are capable of thinking and knowing all sorts of shit that my teachers are trying to teach us… and failing.

In my school people say:

‘Oh, Mymona you are so clever I could never do that!’

It gets me so frustrated when a person says that… because actually I am practically brainless compared to my brothers and sisters. That’s what I love about my brothers and sisters… none of them think or act like the mainstream typical Bengali Muslim family living in London. Because actually we’ve had lives in the poorer, less fortunate part of UAE, Sharjah. And lives in the richest parts of Bangladesh.

Back to the clever thing, the students in my school take their free education for granted and complain a little like this, ‘sir, I don’t want to hold it in my bag… School is so shit and you don’t even learn anything.


A few decades ago being a teacher was a pleasure… now being a teacher is damn suicide. Because you are never appreciated and if you are… that student is called a teacher’s pet.

I try hard at school and that’s why I have the chance of being remotely smart even if it is just book smart… I’m jealous of my brothers and sisters who are just naturally so damn clever simply because they chose to read over watching television!

I know I’m going on a bit but one more thing:

It’s scientifically proven that if a child under the age of four constantly watches TV their learning abilities narrow down to just visual learning.

That’s why I don’t own a TV because my house is full of under fours.

I have really gone off track!

~ living in the atmosphere; learning who I am