swimming backwards with my eyes closed…


if only it was just possible... Id go back every fucking day!

Today I went shopping with my sister. I never go by myself. I don’t know why but something always prevents me.

She wanted to walk but I said the bus would be nicer mainly because London decided to have shitty weather today. We opted for the bus. While we were on the bus we passed by a pet shop… she said:

“There’s a pet shop there, Mymona, do you wanna pop in and then walk the rest?”
“No! Are you trying to bribe me with pets??”
She replied dismissively, “kind of… I just wanted to check if there’s still a child in you or is it all about clothes now?”

That hurt me really bad.

Because I have always wanted to go to a pet shop believe it or not my childhood didn’t have a pet shop in it because my childhood didn’t have remotely exciting parents either. My brothers and sisters have me all the childhood memories I have. And my grandparents too.

At that moment I was freshly reminded of how old I was… What makes it scary is that I will get older… And older and feeling more and more far from my most greatly cherished memories.

I miss that I could do things and it didn’t matter because I was an innocent child.

Anyways, to add the to the trotting down memory lane thing… three of us are staying at my oldest sister’s house… (BTW I have never come across a person in my entire life who isn’t confused about my family… I think it’s because i’m not good at explaining it!)… Just remembering when it was all seven of us and we didn’t have to worry about the kids and the money and the time it was just fun all the way around.

One of the main things that shapes anyone or anything is music. That’s completely true. Music… Is undoubtedly, dangerously, fucking beautiful. And so we went through some old tracks that made us drink lots and lots of spiced tea. Just thought I should share them.

Karl Wolf – Africa
Enrique Iglasias – Bailamos
Chris Brown – Forever
Notch – Nothing No Go So
Cheb Rayan – Goulou L’mama
And all of Habib Wahid… (Bengali singer; yeah, I’m Bengali!)
Atif Aslam – Pehli Nazar Mein

Clearly this was before I met the world of rock and more great music genres.

There was a hell lot more but time says no!

Finally, it has been forever since I last did a puzzle (1000 piece one!) So I will get started on that and will not stop to sleep until it has been completed.

So lots of red bull is waiting for me!

~ living in the atmosphere; learning who I am


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