It’s not called being two-faced; it’s called growing up… I think?

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I feel as though everyone has only ever seen the portrait... when will someone see who is portrayed?

A question for me and you to think about… (and maybe comment about?):

Am I just a mess of lots of faces or do some people bring out some parts of me?

Quite literally… I have different personas with different people. For example with my brothers and sisters I come out as a geeky, dopey (in the sense that my brain is slow), loving little girl. At school with my friends and classmates alike I come out as a perceptive, creative, funny and unique young adult.

Like I said I think I ‘come out’ that way but actually try to portray myself in the way that I am. But because I’m all over the place… I don’t know what I actually am.

I know which face to put on when! But that’s fucking wrong.
There is one thing in common I’ve had with everyone in my entire life:

I’ve never let anyone see what goes on inside my head… what I feel or think.

I always assumed that it was because I simply didn’t feel anything but I actually do… hatred… That’s it!

Loving… Caring… I don’t know how to do that. There is one person that I have loved… My nephew who is just going to be two years old soon. That’s the only person that I would say

I LOVE YOU

To.

Let’s stop.
Because I don’t even know what I’m talking about anymore!!
Have a good night.

Cold Night – You Me At Six

~ living in the atmosphere; learning who I am

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