When I was eleven-years-old…

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When I was 11

I used to dream not believe but dream that my Doctor and my Ponds will come for me and save me from this hell that is reality. We would travel all over the universe each time finding a new piece of myself and each time losing the old me.
I would WOW! at everything and they would laugh.
Me and the Doctor would laugh at the cheesiness of Amy and Rory’s love.
And most of all… we used to cry.
Cry about how much we cared about each other. Cry about how much we don’t exist and that fact was beautiful.

My Raggedy Man never came. So I’ll sit and wait in my garden and continue waiting… Waiting… And waiting still.

I miss it.

The wild crazy dreams.

~ living in the atmosphere; learning who I am

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Finally…

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After all this time... It does feel good.

When I was writing my last couple of posts I was worried about having too many I’s or me’s. But after reading other blogger’s posts I’ve realised that actually it doesn’t matter! I can write ‘I’ as many times as I like!! Because after all this time… this blog only includes me, myself and I.

So…

I haven’t done anything today apart from moan.
Moan about how I want this holiday to end so I can do more work that is even remotely useful to me. Moan about how I don’t want this holiday to end so I can put my head down in a beautiful bath tub and bet with myself about how long I  can hold my breath.

There is only one reason that I would ever want to live by myself… so that a holiday is actually about relaxation not about unpaid overload of babysitting. Other than that I hate being by myself then there would be too much of me under one fucking roof. But I think I would be fairly OK by myself because I have actually been brought up more responsible than most of my peers… who I feel sorry for because they are entirely dependent on their parents. sad.

I am waiting for that one day when there is no one but me… someone once said that that only exist in your grave… I think I was the one who said that.

The song in my head today:

the world is watching – two door cinema club

Their music is mesmerising…

~ living in the atmosphere; learning who I am