Yikes!!

Standard

image

I haven’t written in nearly over a week!
Which is rich coming from somebody who’s only just a baby on WordPress. Maybe an infant…?

I don’t even know what to write about.

These past few days I would get random ideas that I feel like creating a post about. But I never have time to actually write my thoughts into paragraphs or even sentences. So I just write them down as notes so I can remember them for when I do have time. Now I’ve got a list of things to discuss with myself… But right now I don’t feel like spring and what I’ve thought about before…

Today when I was waiting for the bus home from school, a bird decided to shit on me. Yes, a pigeonLondon’s full of them. It was only on the side of my foot but it was so horrendous and warm… Urgh. I do carry wipes with me to school because I feel like school is the most disgusting place on earth especially when there are like 2000 that’s a slight exaggeration students in one building. What I actually wanted to say was that if I was standing with my friends I would have squealed like a girl and pretended like it was a big deal. Because I was by myself… All I did was wipe it off and tried not to puke.

What is it about friends that make us that little bit louder??

And lately I’ve been thinking about money.

Like, do I really need a new phone? Really??! Do I?!
Also, I need a job to pay for the crap that life tends to give.
I have to wait a year and a half because I’m only just fourteen.

Finally, I have done the inevitable… I have developed a crush.

God, please save me!!

~ living in the atmosphere; learning who I am

Advertisements

So here we go… You got one more chance to make it better not lose control… Sleeping With Sirens!

Standard

Sooooooo…

Today at school there was a fire. During lunchtime.
As protocol we knew we had to line up outside for half an hour at least before anything was done. Yes, I did take my dessert with me!
It turned out that the fire was dead serious and in the Art department which is right at the top of the school (to prevent theft… Duh!) all the at students were viciously sad. If that makes any sense. I actually felt sorry for them. I would sure if someone decided to burn my years worth of work in just an hour or so!

It turns out there will be no school tomorrow.

And some people are celebrating. I’m not. Because I’ve got four GCSE exams in the next month and every 10 minutes I miss of Latin or RE (the subjects I’m doing this year) I hyperventilate about what I may have missed.

Latin is a butt hole.

I love and hate it at the same time. Anyone who does or did Latin at some point will know that there is only one word that you need:

Commitment

Without that you won’t get anywhere.

Every Monday and Friday I stay after school for two hours because Latin was an optional GCSE that isn’t in my everyday timetable. And it is sooooooo irritating when it takes two days to learn something bid it feels so fucking great when you realise you’ve finally got it.

Anyways, as I said before my posts will have now bigger gaps between them which I am not happy about but I will try and keep this as full as possible!!

Also… I just wanted to tell you that when I was a kid up to the age of nine my family used to call me Galaxy Smooth because my skin used to be completely perfect with no imperfection just sheer soft, smooth and silkiness. Now that I’m a teenager my skin is disgusting. I hate the fact that I can’t touch my self without remembering what I used to be. It’s so blemished, dry and oily at the same damn time!!

I’ve been raging on a bit tonight but it was Kellin Quinn’s birthday today and I don’t know why birthdays are special because I hate the fact that I was ever even born… Even more painful is that I was born as a ‘human’. So that’s why I don’t celebrate birthdays especially not my own.

~ living in the atmosphere; learning who I am

Can’t believe I’ve given in!

Standard

image

Well, let me steady from the beginning… One day there was a little girl born in a tiny little clinic at coast of Bangladesh… Not that far.

I used to have a Facebook account that I haven’t used in about three years. But other than that I have never had an actual social networking account unless you count Polyvore (this is my polyvore account) Maybe it is just because everyone I’m around I seem to somewhat hate? Or I just thought it would take too much of my time and the last I want is to say I didn’t have time to do something important must because I was too caught up with what some call ‘chatting’.

But lately lots of people have been constantly bugging me about Instagram. Their constant argument!?:

You don’t have to upload pictures of yourself or of anything at all but I just want to share my photos with you, man!

First of all I generally don’t give a shit about your photos secondly (unlike most teenagers of today) I have never taken a selfie in my entire life. Actually I did one but I instantly deleted it. I just don’t like taking pictures… especially of myself.

So anyways… One person pushed me… Very hard!
And I made an Instagram account. It’s called mymonaisdrunk… I think.
But basically I made it and I kind of don’t hate it but I just put up random pictures that have nothing to do with my face… Or body!

Also it’s gonna be a bit daunting because for once my classmates will see who I am when I’m not working… At school.

Other than that today has been the laziest one in ages!! I was sleeping for more than half of it!

Listening to

Oh, Calamity! – All Time Low!

image

~ living in the atmosphere; learning who I am

You would be a shitty liar if you said you didn’t love music.

Standard

image

‘Music is the tool that Shaytan (Satan) uses to manipulate humans into feeling, thinking and wanting sinful things.’

That’s what my brother told me when he saw that I couldn’t go to sleep without my earphones.

Here’s the dealio: listening to music is haram (forbidden) in Islam principally because of that.

It is so sad because I completely use music for everything especially because I have Spotify!!

Again, because I am not strong enough to sacrifice my music for my religion, because I don’t know how to get my priorities straight I’m stuck being guilty every fucking day of my life.

I have been to two concerts on my life (Sleeping With Sirens – October 2013… All Time Low – March 2014) in my opinion atl was better! But then again Jesse had just left sws then so… Sad!

My heart tells me to go to more but my brain is saying ‘don’t you fucking dare!’ So I’m gonna try and go with my brain even though the world today is saying follow your heart which is basically the totally wrong rule to follow if you’re a Muslim!

Concerts are magical… but so is heaven.

~ living in the atmosphere; learning who I am

swimming backwards with my eyes closed…

Standard
image

if only it was just possible... Id go back every fucking day!

Today I went shopping with my sister. I never go by myself. I don’t know why but something always prevents me.

She wanted to walk but I said the bus would be nicer mainly because London decided to have shitty weather today. We opted for the bus. While we were on the bus we passed by a pet shop… she said:

“There’s a pet shop there, Mymona, do you wanna pop in and then walk the rest?”
“No! Are you trying to bribe me with pets??”
She replied dismissively, “kind of… I just wanted to check if there’s still a child in you or is it all about clothes now?”

That hurt me really bad.

Because I have always wanted to go to a pet shop believe it or not my childhood didn’t have a pet shop in it because my childhood didn’t have remotely exciting parents either. My brothers and sisters have me all the childhood memories I have. And my grandparents too.

At that moment I was freshly reminded of how old I was… What makes it scary is that I will get older… And older and feeling more and more far from my most greatly cherished memories.

I miss that I could do things and it didn’t matter because I was an innocent child.

Anyways, to add the to the trotting down memory lane thing… three of us are staying at my oldest sister’s house… (BTW I have never come across a person in my entire life who isn’t confused about my family… I think it’s because i’m not good at explaining it!)… Just remembering when it was all seven of us and we didn’t have to worry about the kids and the money and the time it was just fun all the way around.

One of the main things that shapes anyone or anything is music. That’s completely true. Music… Is undoubtedly, dangerously, fucking beautiful. And so we went through some old tracks that made us drink lots and lots of spiced tea. Just thought I should share them.

Karl Wolf – Africa
Enrique Iglasias – Bailamos
Chris Brown – Forever
Notch – Nothing No Go So
Cheb Rayan – Goulou L’mama
And all of Habib Wahid… (Bengali singer; yeah, I’m Bengali!)
Atif Aslam – Pehli Nazar Mein

Clearly this was before I met the world of rock and more great music genres.

There was a hell lot more but time says no!

Finally, it has been forever since I last did a puzzle (1000 piece one!) So I will get started on that and will not stop to sleep until it has been completed.

So lots of red bull is waiting for me!

~ living in the atmosphere; learning who I am

Lily Allen is my best friend…

Gallery

“When you look with your eyes, everything seems nice:
look twice and you can see its all lies.”

image

Really like that dress!! Also that voice!!

Today… I had to go to school during the holidays because of the resentful party of life called GCSE’s.

Ugh!

But after a short class I went out to eat loads of naughty, sugary, fatty foods with a girl that I don’t know very well apart from the fact that she is an A* student. Damn!! But what I wanted to say was that in the middle of a very sunny springy walk in London she got into a pickle with one of her friends.

This made me feel slightly awkward so I just politely nodded, made noises of agreement ( ‘hmmm, yeah, uff, no’ ) and pretended to give a crap…. as you do.

It may seem that I am a fair bit heartless but I have never had an actual fight with a friend since Yr 5.

BTW… I’m in Yr 10 now.

That’s because I’ve just simply not cared. About anyone. I read a book… Will Grayson, Will Grayson by John Green and the first thing that I learnt from that book was there are only two rules in this world of teens:

Continue reading